Tuesday, January 6, 2009

To Find You...

My faith in Jesus defines me. I know this. It's who I am, to the core of my being. He changed me...and in still in the process, but without a doubt, I cannot for one second deny the change He's done.

I know who I was. And I know who I am now.

When someone close to me, whom I love immeasurably, walks away from that same faith...it hurts in a way I can't explain. Sometimes they're aware of what they're doing, and sometimes...not.

Last night, as I was driving to a friends Tupperware party, I was stewing about the situation with this one I care about so much. Playing conversations in my head, over and over. Some of the conversations were real...others were imaginary...you know the ones...where I'm all tellin' them what they need to hear, and they're all listening and responding positively...funny how it goes perfectly in my head and never that great in real life :)

Anyways, I was also making a mental list of all the possible reasons they were turning their back on a God who is so obviously trying to love them, and WHY this was such a bad, bad move.

I came up with a pretty good list.

But the list...it didn't make me feel better. It gave me a sense of hopelessness.

I happened to be listening to a CD that I've listened too since I was 15. It's an Audio Adrenaline Greatest Hits, and a song came on.

This song, in particular, I've never cared for. Something about the style of it makes me skip over it every. single. time. But last night, I know without a doubt God meant for me to hear the words to that song, because as I moved to push the skip button, I suddenly knew I needed to hear what that song said.

And, like so many other things in my life, something I didn't care for at all has now become one of my favorites.








I'm lost and broken all alone on this road
The wheels keep turning but the feeling is gone
when I fear I'm on my own
But you remind me i am not alone


You say..


I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you
(For you alone)I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you



It's dark and lonely and the path is unclear
Can't move my feet because I'm frozen with fear
And you say, my child, my child
I am always here, I'm by your side


I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you
(For you alone) I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you


You're never too far down
I promise you'll be found,
I'll reach into the mud,
the miry clay
pursue you to the end,
like a faithful friend,
nothing in this world,
will keep me away,


I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you
(For you alone) I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you... to find you..



I was filled with peace. All of my own words were washed away with the truth this song brings out of scripture. The song reads like a love letter from Jesus. He pursues us, because He loves us...and He knows where each one of us is at today, the good, the bad, and the ugly in each of us. He's not intimidated when we run from Him...and some of us know we've been running for a looooong time.



And He PURSUES us. Nothing in this world can keep Him away. Nothing.

24 comments:

  1. the best feeling in the world is know exactly that...that he pursues us and nothing in this world can keep him away!!!!

    great post!

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  2. I just had this happen in my family... my brothers wife walked away from her faith and left the marriage. she gave no warnings and no time for him to save the marriage. Very hard, b/c we couldn't even get a hold of her to try to talk to her.
    Anyway, great song! I'm glad God used it to help you in this time.

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  3. He pursues us!!! Sometimes that amazing fact just blows me away. It is so good to know its true.

    Thanks for this post!

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  4. Sarah, this just made me feel comforted beyond words. Thank you...

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  5. I love this song. Thank you for sharing it. Great post!

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  6. We experienced this in our family and it is so heart breaking to watch someone you love go down that path. But, when they come back to Jesus it is a sweet reunion!

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  7. oh! we need to talk! I have been going thru a very similar thing!!!
    just heard an awesome song by "10th AVe" I will find it and email the title!

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  8. Ha haha :)
    I'm so LAUGHING!
    Last night I was in a funky funk...I posted about that funky funk this morning. I posted somebody needed to slap me.
    Thanks for the slap girlfriend!
    I'm still LAUGHING!

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  9. What a lovely message. I love it when lyrics touch the soul, it's magical!

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  10. Deep breath...beautiful post...those lyrics are profound

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  11. I love that verse, and I love when God speaks to us through song. :D

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  12. I have someone like this in my life too Sarah. Thanks for reminding me of these truths! I was seriously thinking of "cusing" them out :(

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  13. I always think about how God must be shaking his head at me when I start to get frustrated with someone else's process. Silly girl, He says, take a peek at your process. Oh yeah...

    He's pursuing me just the same, right down to the corners of my heart that are still all a mess (there are a lot of those corners). I may appear to be walking closely with Him, but in many ways I'm not. I needed the reminder that He still is pursuing even me. Thank you.

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  14. Love that. Thanks for the reminder that there's nothing we can do to make Him turn His back on us. I actually always liked this song.

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  15. You are such an inspiration! The words of that song are so true...hope the friend decides to open her heart back up for God.

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  16. Our Pastor always says, "If God had a wallet, your picture would be in it." I think that is a great mental picture. I have this picture of God flipping through his wallet photos, looking at mine and saying, "Ah, Karen, such a rambunctious child, but oh how I love her! :) Thanks for the reminder. For all my faults, hang ups and weeknesses, he still loves me! :) What a great feeling!

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  17. Isn't it mind boggling to think that God, the creator of the universe pursues us (me)? Thanks for reminding us!

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  18. "I know who I was and I know who I am now." I love that thought - always.

    Do you ever feel like the 99?

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  19. No, no. I am AMIE, Not Harry.

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  20. It was a beautiful song.

    I am I new follower of your blog.
    You have a very nice blog:)

    Wibeche

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  21. You know, I'm kinda dealing with that situation with a colleague (a very dramatic colleague), and I'm trying just to show her love. My husband has such a loving spirit, and I am slllooowwwlllyyy picking up on that. You're right. Jesus loves us and pursues us, and I am determined to be more of a mirror of that love.

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