Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Finding Words...

Some things are just hard to blog.

Hard to explain. Hard to find words for. Hard to put out there.

Easier to leave blank.

But life is not blank. And if I want to document this journey...it's gonna need words.

Last Tuesday I went into my Dr. for a routine prenatal appointment. There I learned that (from the previous ultrasound) they had found a small Choroid Plexus Cyst on our baby's brain.

Here's what I know:

  • They're not all that uncommon. They show up in 1-2% of ultrasounds and most often disappear by 32 weeks of pregnancy.
  • They cause no harm to the baby's brain.
  • They can be a very "soft" marker for other chromosomal problems. However, the rest of our ultrasound looked completely normal, so they are not very concerned.
  • It's still enough to make this pregnant momma dissolve in tears.
We go this Thursday, December 31's to a ginor-mo hospital for a level II ultrasound. My Dr. tells me that most of the time, the little cyst has already gone away. I think that sounds pretty good...let's pray for that.

They'll also take a more complete look at the little babe just to make sure everything is as it should be.

It's been an emotional week to say the least. I find myself trying to stay distracted, although nothing really distracts. Wishing time to go faster so that Thursday arrives sooner...and then the next moment wishing Thursday away. I flip flop from peace to paranoia to peace again.

The only things that brings relief is the time spent worshiping The One who holds it all in His hands. No matter what happens, or what news we get, it doesn't change Him. It doesn't change who He is to me. There's comfort in that.

I know I can count on bloggy friends to join me in prayer...thank you *smile*


49 comments:

  1. I just finished another chapter in my book called 'Prayer' ... how appropriate this morning to find this from you.

    Know that I'm praying for you Sarah - wholeheartedly ... for your fears to be calmed, and for your mind to be focused on the comfort that He is holding you in the palm of His hand!

    Peace to you today & the days to come ~

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Sarah - I feel your angst. I had a Down's scare with my girl and had to have an amniocentesis. I got so frustrated with people assuring me that everything was going to be fine (meaning she was okay). I had to get to the point I realized everything was going to be fine even if she wasn't okay -- because God would be with us.

    It does sound like your doctor is encouraging. But I know it's hard to wait and wonder.

    Praying for peace for you and a good report on your sweet baby!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Saying a prayer for you & the little one right now.

    (P.S. - I totally get the peace to paranoia feeling!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh Sarah !!!! I'm so sorry --- I know this angst! With my 4th, he had a 2 vessel umbilical cord which could have been associated with lots and lots of things. Matter of fact - we had to wait til he was born to check his kidneys.....
    I'm sorry -- I know that pregnant + scares like this double the the angst.
    I will be praying for you all!
    in HIM -
    Mindy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Prayers*Hugs*Love....Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  6. *prayers*
    I love your comment "no matter what happens, or what news we get, it doesn't change Him." AMEN! He is holding you and your little one tightly whatever the outcome.
    *prayers*

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've only been reading your blog for a couple of weeks, so I don't feel like I "know" you that well... but I'm 34 weeks pregnant and know well the fears that pregnant mamas are so prone to, especially when they deal with the health of the little one inside. As you said, our only comfort is that "His mercies never fail." Grace and peace!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'll be keeping you and the baby in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh Sarah -- I'm so sorry! I will be praying for you and your precious baby!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sarah, I can only imagine what a stressful week this has been. We will be praying for you. God knows, and has ordained THIS baby for your family--He has it all worked out already.
    We are praying for you.

    *not that this is any solice whatsoever, but I gave you a blog award today *grin*. I love your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The waiting is hard, I know. But you also know you've got a group of prayer warriors on your side!
    *hugs**love**prayers*

    ReplyDelete
  12. Just stopped by today becazuse I felt drawn to see how things were going. I have not had internet at home for over a month...so today I thought I would catch up with my parsonage friend.
    Please know I will be praying for you and your family. Praying Thursday comes quickly, ushered in by peace. Followed by peace.
    Love you my dear friend,
    Stephanie

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh Sarah, Praying for you and little baby! Love you so much! Hang in there friend!

    ReplyDelete
  14. praying right now for you, Sarah. For peace that only comes from Him and for your beautiful baby. Thanks for allowing us to join you in prayer!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sarah, I am praying peace for you and your husband. We also had news like this with one of ours and I had to cling to what I did know for certain, HE is in control...

    ReplyDelete
  16. I may not know exactly how you're feeling, but I am totally feeling your feelings. If that makes sense!

    From one preggers to another.... XOXO and Prayers!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Definitely praying for your precious little one, and you, sweet lady.

    Love to think on this verse at times like this...

    Isaiah 26:3
    You will keep in perfect peace
    all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

    Trusting with you in God's perfect plan...
    Tracy

    ReplyDelete
  18. praying for you and your sweet baby.

    our 2nd child had the same cyst (which God healed) and i remember the emotion, the uncertainty, the fear and the hope all too well.

    keeping you in my thoughts~

    ReplyDelete
  19. Praying that you will feel God's peace surrounding you and carrying you through the next couple days..and so believing that God is going to make everything just perfect! Prayer is an amazing, amazing gift! Sweet blessings!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh Sarah... so hard... I'll be praying for you..

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sweet Sarah, thank you for sharing with us and giving us the honor of walking through this journey with you. You are in my prayers and I will be with you(in spirit) every step of the way.
    You are such an encouragement to me!
    Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Praying that He will surround you and your family with a peace that passes understanding, that regardless of what Thursday brings, you will feel His presence and know that He is the Author of Life.
    Praying for you and your sweet babe.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Praying that "Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance" Jude1:2

    ReplyDelete
  24. Know that you are surrounded by prayer! Here are some coming from the south!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I know the feeling of fear of the unknown in pregnancy but the peace that only He can bring...I had a miscarriage after 2 healthy pregnancies. My 4th pregnancy, I was so scared and fearful but at the same time knowing God had everything under control. You're right...it's a flip flop from paranoia to peace. I will be praying for you, that this precious baby is perfect! That if healing is necessary, God has already begun. Praying!

    ReplyDelete
  26. yes, father, we pray for complete health for this precious wonderful baby!!!! amen

    ReplyDelete
  27. Praying, praying, praying. Love you, my friend - He IS faithful.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Sarah-

    Totally praying for this whole situation right now. I know that you can be filled with worry even if you know that there is Peace in Christ.

    Praying and big {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

    Tarah

    ReplyDelete
  29. Praying for unexplainable peace and unshakable faith as you wait the next few hours, Sarah. I know that you know God is in control. But the waiting is always hard.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Praying for both you and your little one! And in the midst of it all I pray you find that peace that passes understanding.

    ReplyDelete
  31. *sigh* Praying that all is fine and God washes away the waves of anxiety you feel today.
    love you!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Praying hard! I just have a peace that everything is going to be ok. Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  33. We are lifting you all up in prayer.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Prayers are coming your way. In addition to relying on Jesus... I also advise COMPLETE AND TOTAL AVOIDANCE OF GOOGLE. There is too much information and it seems to always lead you to dark scary places. Trust your doctors and God and all will work out.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Its so hard to stay focused on the now. I am pregnant with my 3rd and have had my own fears though out this pregnancy. So glad you are leaning on God's grace though this, He's the only one who really knows what your future brings. Even worst case can be beautiful in God's grace. My sister was worst case has and had so many problems in her life and no one has brought me more joy. She is to our family God's special gift. So may God give you the special grace to wait for whatever he hold for you.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I will pray that the baby is 100% healthy by birth and that you will find peace as you wait for that day to arrive. You are in my prayers.
    -FringeGirl

    ReplyDelete
  37. Praying for His peace, that surpasses all understanding.

    Praying for a healed baby...clear scan...and a relieved mama.

    ReplyDelete
  38. oh sarah, i have been extremely behind on my bloggy reading, but saw your fb post this morning and came straight to your blog.

    even though you will read this long after you have come home from iowa city, my prayers are with you today. i know you will be strong in your faith and rely on Him to get you through this, whatever *this* may be. additionally, i am praying for peace for you throughout the remainder of your pregnancy. ((hugs))

    ~tracie

    ReplyDelete
  39. You, your family and you unborn child are all in God's capable hands. I pray Thursday brings good news.
    I pray this coming year brings you peace, joy and happiness.
    amber

    ReplyDelete
  40. Praying for you today & knowing that He has such an incredible Love for this little one.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Sarah - I was nursing in the nursery Sunday when I heard Ben ask for prayer concerning this. I began praying right then and have continued. I've been in a few similar situations - as you know - and I am praying for comfort as you go in for this ultrasound. You are a wonderful testimony of praising God no matter what. I'm so thankful for your example.
    BTW - it was really great to see you all!!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Praying for you and your family that all will be well!!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Praying, my bloggy friend!
    By the way, we're expecting again, too! Due in July!
    Please update when you can!

    ReplyDelete
  44. just catching up on your blog - and although i have seen they found your baby's cyst gone - i wanted to encourage you by the fact that my youngest baby - born last february - had several on her 20 wk u/s...and like you, everything else looked normal. but, it was a big scare knowing what they could mean...and i was so upset too. eventually, my pregnancy began to feel "normal" again and i didn't dwell on that so much (they discovered our daughter's were gone too by follow up u/s) but there was always some small part of me that was a little nervous until i finally held a perfectly healthy sweet baby girl on feb 26th. and, let me tell you, of my three, she is my most wild, crazy baby so far - completely healthy and happy. so, my prayers are with you that you can rest in His peace and strength and enjoy the remainder of your pregnancy without the cyst (or lack of it) being at the focus it all.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting, you make blogging fun. :) If your comment doesn't appear right away, it's because it's awaiting moderation, but it will show up soon!