Monday, May 3, 2010

Tangents

My real life is a lot like my blog. It goes in tangents. If you've read for very long, you've probably thought to yourself, "Dude, she beats a topic to death and then moves on to a new one...which she then proceeds to beat to death...and so on and so on..."

That old saying, Variety is the spice of life...may be true. I wouldn't know, I'm not good with variety. Or balance. I tend to focus on one thing at a time. Which is good for the one thing and not so good for everything else.

Lately, it's been pregnancy, baby Lucy, her three big brothers and the newness of being a family with four kiddos (which happens to feel pretty great:)

Ministry has taken a back burner for me. Which is ok and not ok at the same time. The ok part is the brief break I'm taking from my "official" ministry roles at church...other gifted individuals have stepped in and done wonderfully. But during Ben's sermon last night, he talked about our personal witness and ministry to those around us...the "unofficial" stuff...and I knew God was trying to get my attention.

The stuff like spending time in God's word and prayer...enough time to actually hear Him...not just opening it up and reading quickly here and there in order to make myself feel better that I actually opened it up *cough*

Being conscious again that my life, all of it, all the time is a witness to those around me. God has placed me right here. For a purpose. A purpose bigger than what I've boxed it into lately.

Of all the things in my life, the one that always always always needs to be my "tangent" is my relationship with Christ. Yet, sadly, it's often the first thing I push down the list. Every. Single. Time.

But amazingly, every single time...He quietly and gently calls me back. His love and patience with me astounds me. It really does. He doesn't need me. He is God, after all. But...He loves me enough to never let go. I don't know if I'll ever be able to wrap my head around that.

But I'm so thankful for it. And someday, I'd like to be that woman...that pastor's wife, the one who always keeps Christ first where He belongs...but until then, it's just me. Good thing He's not finished with me yet.

14 comments:

  1. I have no idea what you are talking about. I am not at all obsessive. Not at all, not about running, or photography, or losing weight or blogstuff, or any of that. Not.
    I was thinking in church last night too about my focus on Him and how it should be demonstrated. I think over the years I have gotten soooo many messages on what it should look like that I don't even know where the balance is right now.
    I want Him to show me, though, I want to know.
    And I bet He will show us. If we let him.

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  2. Oh no! Don't beat the baby to death! LOL

    Great thoughts. I totally get this.

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  3. Hmmm, I am thinking that God likes to hit several of us stubborns over the head...or as you said "beat a topic to death"
    Hee hee, that's how he gets through to me! I hear one thing: Like I need to spend more time in the word, with HIM. And I think yep me too. Then I'll hear someone say it again and I think uh huh me too, I'll get to it. And by , oh I don't know the 5th time I hear the EXACT same thing I throw up my arms and say "GOT IT ALREADY! Look I'm picking up my bible. See this is me reading your word..." And then at night when I crawl into bed I give a word of thanks for that time. Even though he had to beat me into it! I LOVE that.

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  4. oh how i can relate to this... i really, really wish we lived in the same town. I'd want to go running with you and read Beth Moore with you, and drink frappuchinos from Star Bucks at Target with you!

    Thanks for keeping it real and for reminding me how I need to be spending more real time in the Word and with my Lord!

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  5. Um yeah, kinda nailed this girl between the eyes last night too. Thank you Lord for a pastor available to be use of you to pursue/ challenge your people!

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  6. nicely said. we all need to work on this.

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  7. I'm the same way -- I let myself get consumed with certain things in my life and sometimes lose sight of the fact that the one thing I always need to be consumed is God. Well put!

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  8. He's not finished with ANY of us yet. So glad sanctification is a life long process and no something we have to accomplish overnight. I love your transparency, Sarah.

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  9. I know just how you feel (except the kid think I don't have any...yet) and to be honest its great to hear that a 'Pastor's Wife' is human. I struggle with this daily and its nice to see in written english that I'm not the only one.

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  10. I have been bemoaning the fact that I don't get to my bible everyday any more. I used to read it regularly before my oldest was born and now I have two. I really do miss it. I't comforting to know that I am not the only one who struggles with this. Thanks for sharing.

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  11. I totally get this too. Thanks for sharing from one pastor's wife to another!

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  12. Amen! I, like Amber, totally understand where you are coming from.

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  13. Happy Mother's Day Pretty Lady!!! I hope you had a great day:)

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  14. I often wonder if "that woman...that pastor's wife" actually exists at least on this side of glory... I think the beautiful thing about the gospel is that we are not perfect, we don't seek Christ first, we are depraved, and yet loved by an amzing God who directs us back to himself...
    Thanks for a great post!

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