I realize that you haven't lived here all that long. But, you are a smart dog. You save the naughty behavior for when I'm gone. I know you do. It's why I have to lock the garbage in the mud room, block off the couch, the stairs, and remove the cushions off the chairs so that you won't sleep on them (have you noticed you smell badly?)
I need you to give me a break. Leaving the house with three boys and a baby is tricky enough...and occasionally I forget one of the four steps to Gus-proof the parsonage. I like you Gus, I do. But...if I come home to find this one. more. time. You are sooooo getting more than my angry eyes. We clear?
I didn't think so.