Thursday, September 22, 2011

Civility

 Every now and then, someone shares a link to something, via Facebook or Twitter or a blog, and I read it and it changes me. 


Usually the link is shared by my friend Heth.  She's got this amazing ability to come across really fantastic stuff.  I'm quite certain it's one of her spiritual gifts.


Yesterday, she shared this link.


I've read it six times.  After I post this, I'm going to walk over to the printer and print. it. out.  


If you are a parent, or are ever planning to be a parent, it's a must read.  It's short  and simple, and punch-you-in-the-gut good.  


I am not a "yeller" by nature.  I don't scream and shout or totally fly off the handle (generally.)  But I have a tone.  A tone I use with my kids when they are not doing or listening or being as I think they should.  I've never thought anything of it.  I'm the mom, they're the kids.  


 Many parents feel free to speak to their children with a level of incivility they would not use with anyone else they know. They bark orders. They raise their voices. They use sarcasm and contempt: “Seriously? That’s how you cleaned your room?” They poison civil language with contemptuous tone: “Ryan, please put your shoes on.” They patronize. They eye-roll or sigh. They construct a cocktail of word choice, tone, and body language that they would not serve to a co-worker, a friend, or a stranger on the street. And then they serve it liberally to an under-aged consumer - the smallest neighbor they are called to love preferentially - their own child.

Some things make you hit your knees...this one did me.  I can't even number how many times, in the past 24 hours, that I started to tell them something and stopped mid-sentence...realizing that my tone was not respectful.  Without a doubt I have authority over them.  But I have not always been exercising that it in a way that conveys respect for them.  

They know I love them.  Without a doubt.  But do they know I respect them?  Working on my tone...praying God would help me to speak (with authority and love) to them in the same respectful way I would a friend or stranger.  










*Side Note*  There's still plenty of time and space to enter the giveaway from Monday.  If you've "liked" it on FB or ordered the album or even one song, please leave a comment to you can be entered!  Thank you!

5 comments:

  1. Wonderful!
    Respect is so crucial when it comes how we treat our spouse, our children ... and all others too.
    It's such an important thing!
    Big blessings,
    Sibylle

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  2. I love that you are blogging again!
    I miss Heth's blogging. :(
    I can't wait to check out the link you posted. Thank you!

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  3. You stepped on all ten toes. I needed to hear it. Thank you.
    ~FringeGirl

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  4. Thanks for posting this....I needed it. Badly. And, just for the record, I think I have forwarded links you've included in your posts more than any other blog I read. :) We must respond to the same stuff.

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