Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Wretched

I so enjoyed your comments and emails on my last post.  Thank you.  It's good to be understood. :)


Last week I had one of those weeks where I just couldn't shake my bad mood.  The fact that I couldn't pinpoint what was causing it just made my mood worse.     That saying, "If mama's not happy, nobody's happy" couldn't  be more true.  


It was even more annoying that I knew my mood was terrible.  I knew it was affecting my family, I just couldn't break free from it.  


Until this weekend.  


It had been a couple of weeks since I've been able to run outside.  A couple of weeks without my running buddy.  


Months of remodeling.


Kids with sickness.


A husband, whose already crazy schedule, was made even crazier by working on the remodel.


Cabin fever. 


I needed a break.  But sometimes, amidst the chaos, there just isn't time for a break.  


Saturday I was able to run outside.  4.75 miles of therapy.  I came home feeling better already.  


On Monday, it ended up that Ben didn't need to help on the remodel project, and a dear friend took Lucy for us so we could just hang out.  


I snapped this picture before we left.  Happy?  Yes.  Dork?  Yep.








We got groceries, used a gift card to Subway, and then sat at Starbucks for a couple hours.  I worked on my Bible Study, pausing way too often to share thoughts and other random stuff that we just haven't had time to share lately.  Ben read his book, and patiently put up with my interruptions.  


It's funny how something that simple...and short, was so refreshing.  It was a gift.  And a lesson.


God has hardwired me a certain way and I need to be aware of it, before the "Sarah that no one wants to be around including myself" emerges.  


 - I need to run.  Physically and mentally I need it.  
 - I need a break from my kids.  I love them dearly, but the constant-ness of                it all can be overwhelming.  
 - I need time alone with my husband.  Even if it's just a few hours.  
 - I need to not live on a diet of sugar alone.  

I made a pact with Ben.  I told him he needs to help remind me of these things, BEFORE I end up in the place I was last week...the place of the wretched mood that won't go away.  


You might notice that the list is void of the spiritual things I need.  That's on purpose.  I'm completely aware of the spiritual things I need.  It's a lesson I had to learn and relearn a million times.  I need to be in His Word, I need fellowship through prayer, I need to worship through music.  It's my given.  Last week all those things were present.  And that's good.  The above list, specific to me, was sort of God's unique personal touch on the other things I need as well.  


How about you guys?  Do you know what you need?  Or, like me, do you easily forget?


I need internet too.  I should have added that. ;)



7 comments:

  1. I know I need time away from the house. I need a reason to get out of my comfy stay home clothes, I need a reason to hot roller this mane and put on some lipstick...taking my girl to her ortho appt isn't really what I had in mind, but since it's eating a good chunk of my meet the girls at Caribou funds...oh and I need yoga.

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  2. Oh, I can get just like this. For me, I need to get out of the house often. If I'm in the house for two or three days in a row, I start to feel trapped and then depressed. It's a crazy thing, but it's totally true. I'm nutty like that. I also need to get around other women now and then...I need social outlet - bookclubs, Bible study, some kind of craft/art class - something. I'm not good if I spend too much time alone.

    I think it's good to realize what we need to make us function well. Sometimes it's easy to get so caught up in our families that we let what we need slip away. Then we get to the place where it's no good for any of us.

    Glad you got what you needed!

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  3. Sarah, this was so, so good for me to read. Thank you lady. I like you an awful lot. :) I keep forgetting about the things that God has hardwired into me. Sometimes I think it is selfish to claim those things as "musts" - but it's good.

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  4. I need time to myself. When I get time for myself, it's usually on a drive to a women's event...a 2-3 minute drive. I need quiet very bad...I do my Bible studies tuning out the noise in my house. Something I've had to train myself when my boys were babies.

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  5. I just came upon your blog and I want to add an Amen to all you said. Glad you are reclaiming it all this week.

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  6. Thank you for sharing! I so needed to read this. I loved how I read what you wrote and later read another blog and both really blessed me and showed me I'm not alone in these feelings I'm feeling.

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  7. I could have typed this post. Seriously I NEED all those things...Except for the run...I wish I could start running again. We need time away from the kids for us and them. I Agree 100%. I'm such a better mom when I've had a break. I also loved your last post about being a stay-at-home mom. I can relate!

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