Our family is venturing into the world of foster care.
*moment of silence to let that process*
I've come up with a million different ways to share that information. Many entailed details and stories and "looking back" that lead up to the climatic news, rather than just simply throwing it out there for you to choke on. But for us, it's kind of the same way God led us...He really just dropped it in front of us (rather obviously) in a way that felt like it came out of no-where. Of course it really wasn't out of no-where, we had just been doing a reaaaaallly good job of trying to ignore it.
Someday I'll share those details. In the mean time, we are in the beginning stages of becoming licensed. Already it is frustrating. Brokenness is always frustrating. Broken system. Broken people. But God is not broken.
When I was 14, I made a decision to trust Jesus. It was not on an emotional whim. It was a literal wrestling with counting the cost of that decision. I had been presented with truth, there was no denying that. And I had a decision to make. Trust Him, and hand over my life to Him. Or reject Him, and do my life, my way. I read scripture, trying to find a middle ground, a loop hole. Something that said, "Hey, you can trust Jesus AND live life your own way!"
That verse doesn't exist.
Instead, this does:
I was a 14 year old kid. But I knew to count the cost. I exchanged my will for His will. It was my best decision. And my hardest decision. Because my will...it is strong.
Years later, Ben, my then boyfriend (now husband), shared that God was calling him in to ministry, I knew in my heart he was right. I also knew that it wasn't what I wanted my future husband to be called to. Because that seemed hard.
Ministry is hard. (for the record.) But it is also beautiful. And worth it. And the place we are called to be.
When God dropped this foster care stuff in our path, I immediately felt like the 19 year old girl learning her boyfriend was called to pastor. I knew in my heart that's what He wants for us...and I also knew I'd rather be called to something else. Something easier.
This following Jesus stuff, it's hard. It's not a one-time-thing. It's a continual laying down of my will, and accepting His. His will...it's always, always, always proven better than mine. Always. But that doesn't make it easy.
We have no idea what's in store. Or where all of this will lead. But we are taking the steps of faith, in obedience. *With trembling.*